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(0)Johnny Two Kebabs
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In this second volume of his memoirs, Johnny describes how he infiltrated a dangerous gang of 'activists' and thwarted a plot to carry out a series of terrorist attacks in the U.K. In a race against time, he uncovers valuable information, but the deeper Johnny ventures into the heart of the gang's dark machinations, the more difficult it becomes to tread the path of righteousness as truth and falsehood seem to mingle together to form a surreal mirage.As...
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The strangest episode of Johnny's adventures so far sees him confronted by the ghost of Margaret Thatcher and the mysterious death of one of his acquaintances. His investigations of an esoteric and well-being convention lead him to attend some therapy sessions where he is surprised at the expertise of some of the therapists. But he becomes convinced that one of them is, in fact, a brutal murderer. Will Maggie help or hinder the investigation? Will...
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Journey through these memoirs with Johnny as he describes a world fraught with danger, mystery and questionable hygiene. With each page, he draws us deeper into his enigmatic realm as the truth behind each tale is unveiled.Setting the stage for the three novellas in this collection, "The Prequel" chronicles his astonishing rise to fame. How, during an unforgettable contest at Achmed's kebab shop in south London, he achieved notoriety by devouring...
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In the novella "From Russia with Chilli and Garlic Sauce," the legend of Johnny Two Kebabs is revealed as being an astonishing reality. For years, the world has questioned the existence of this larger-than-life character, dismissing him as an urban myth or a product of Irish folklore. But now, in his own words, Johnny Two Kebabs steps out of the shadows to set the record straight.This is the man who, on 15th June 2011, after drinking 13 pints of lager,...
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Did you know that the average male bladder can hold approximately one pint of liquid? However, when it comes to an Irishman, his bladder tends to have a somewhat larger capacity. The bladder of a healthy Irishman can typically hold at least 750ml which is nearly one and a half pints. Yet, there are always exceptions to the norm. Every once in a while a man with an exceptionally large bladder emerges, and with some training and determination, he can...
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On 15th June 2011, an extraordinary event took place in Brixton, south London. On that day, an Irishman devoured two doner kebabs in a mere 1 minute and 59 seconds. What made this feat even more remarkable was the fact that he had already indulged in 13 pints of lager. Now, in a riveting account, the true story of the events leading up to this accomplishment is recounted by the protagonist, 'Johnny Two Kebabs.'In this 'prequel' Johnny invites us into...
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Embark on a thrilling journey through the memoirs of Johnny Two Kebabs, the legendary 'conscious vigilante,' in this gripping trilogy of novellas. In the first instalment, "From Russia With Chilli And Garlic Sauce," Johnny uncovers a sinister plot involving a Russian assassination. As he delves deep into the conspiracy, he must navigate a treacherous web of lies and deceit. In the second novella, "How I Found The G Spot," Johnny takes on a different...